Hi. I know this blog is very very stagnant. But it's not like anyone but me gets to read it right. So what the hell.

I hate my fucking class! Okay maybe not my fucking class. Just my fucking class chairman. She's really very irritating okay. Dammit la!

Well actually there was something going on between me and her since march this year. And now it's September. So it's been, what, six months? But no one but me and her knew about it until august! You see, she's really popular. Whereas I am not that popular. That's one of the things I don't understand about why she likes me instead of anyone else. But never mind that. The thing is, since she has so many good friends she can talk to, she told them about us. And then the friends told theirs and now a lot of people know. And so now a lot of girls tend to giggle and point and stare at me. If you feel jealous hearing about this, you can have her. I swear it man. I've had enough of all these popular people knowing me. It's weirddd. They all look the same you know...you'd think I'd be glad to have the most popular girl in the world to actually like me more than a friend, but I'm not! Call me strange, whatever you want. I just wish she hadn't ever felt like that before.

And when I look at myself in the mirror, I just can't find what it is she thinks is so appealing about me. Maybe she's just plain weird. Then again, she's always been very very opinionated. She's an analytical person...she's taking lit as one of her subjects next year. And guess what. We are taking the same subject combination next year!! Hallelujah. Seriously. God! I don't know how I'm going to be able to live through two more years of torment and teasings that come with the fact that the most popular girl in the world likes you. Sheesh! I can't ever be myself around her anymore. She has a very good sense of hearing, mind you. She could hear a pin drop halfway across a big, noisy classroom!

She used to be my dance partner. And she kept telling me what to do. That was back in March, and I guess things weren't heated up between us yet.

I did nurse a crush on her too, though. But only before from march to july. For her, it's from like April to September! One month more than me. Sheesh!

Too bad I'm kind of used to lots of people staring at me all the time. They've been doing it for almost two years now. I don't think I take notice when she does stare at me. If she does it often, that is. And thank god for that! My friend says she stares a lot. Dammit. If I noticed every time she did, I think I'd have mutated into some kind of mute freak or something.

She's angry at me. Haha. The loser. For ignoring her. But what the hell am I supposed to do? She should have gotten the message by now! She's the best person at everything I've ever known! I'm hardly good at one concentrated thing I put my heart to! She's uber-cool, I'm not someone you'd cast a second glance at.

I have to face her again on Monday. And all the torments and humiliation of being crushed on by a girl like that. It's Saturday, mind you! Only one more day left! Maybe I should start treating her more like the bitch she is. Then she could stop crushing me.

God, help me! ><

Hello.

I obviously havent been blogging for a very long time. i just dont have time I guess.

I came for school 1 hour late today. On purpose. Because we were given permission to come late since we came back from the Singapore Conference Hall at midnight or something. I skipped pe. Yeyy thank goodness Im wearing a blouse okay. Hahah.

Im heartbroken right now. Well duh its because of a boy.

His name is Saiful and hes Malay. He goes to a neighbourhood school but that doesnt stop me from liiking him. Hes so fucking hot! He goes to my religious class. Fyi, Im a Muslim.

The class was yesterday. Saiful looked at me a lot of times. His friend likes me. I know he does. He only ever flirts with ME and not any other of the girls. I mean his friend. Id be over the moon if Saiful himself flirted with me of course.

The whole class knows and theres one more guy whos jealous of him. Hes from a good school but hes damn ugly. Unlike Saiful.

Saiful stared at me lots of times. I dont like him just cos hes hot tho. Thats half the reason. ONLY half. Hes with the cool crowd but hes not scared to speak his mind and be different. He isnt the skirtchasing type tho. He does take notice of girls but doesnt drool down his shirt mentally undressing them.

Hes also really funny. His friend said my voice was sexy. I dont think so. He was only doing to score with me. The bloody motherfucker.

But when I went home with a friend who goes to school near him she said he has a girlfriend. I dont know what to think anymore. Im heartbroken. If he has a gf then I shouldnt approach him. But if he really doesnt and he likes me back, but if I thought he has a gf then Id waste an oppurtunity.

The only ever people who I love and love me back are those I dont even know. I met this guy at my cousins wedding. He was ushering people and helping to clean the tables. He was really hot and he was SO sweet. He kept staring at me and gave me this teeny weeny smile when he passed by. I gave him back a smile and things started going reallllyyyy well between us. Heheh. I was too shy to get his name tho. But it wouldnt be much use. He lives on the other side of the world. My world at least. Sheesh. But he was really hot. REALLY HOT. He had bloody washboard abs!!!! I know cos I accidentally saw him changing. It wasnt MY fault. I was chasing my nephew around. Hes a baby dammit. He went straight to him. My gosh he blushed his fucking ass off when he saw me see him. Omfg. I was blushing the shit out of me too. I picked up my nephew and ran off. I DIDNT EVEN GET HIS FUCKING NAME!!!! WAHHHHHH!!!!

Sheesh. Grrrrrrrrrrr. But really. I dont know what to think. Im not even sure if hes the right guy for me. Hes just like the guy next door type. But I like guynextdoors. I like guynextdoors better than the rich ones. Theyre more straighforward and theyre funner even if theyre not as rich. Theyre really more amusing and they dont have like airs or anything. I like them.

Oh gosh. The bell just motherfucking rang. I gotta go. Im in school. The only reason Im blogging is because I just happen to be in the motherfucking computer lab.

Sac rocks baby. Especially fadhillah. Heheh shes so damn fucking good!!!!! Plus she SUPER HOT. SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER HOT. Gosh I sound like im a bloody fucking lesbian. Im not. I fucking swear. She has a fan club. Guys go crazy over her. When she dresses up its like shes a fucking KNOCKOUT and you can see all the guys drool over her. Shes smart and really serious about her work. But shes fun too.

Alrights I better go. I need to get back to class the fucking bell just rang. Fucking shit. Bye fuckers!

hey.

tis is obviously my first time here. I have another blog but everyone who's anybody knows that blog so. I can't really express my innermost thoughts and emotions there. And to set the record straight, I am not. I repeat. Not. Jiwang. That's malay for soulful. I think. Ah you know, the type who really...um...pretends to be very...um...ah I dunno lah. wait. Just think of it as a person who's in love. You knowwww...the way these people who love each other but don't wanna tell or haven't confessed it to their significant other or something...ya. They get very mushy. Yesh. I guess that's pretty much d word.

The other thing is that I'm not girly. I mean, ya okay I do scream when I see cockroaches and lizards. Especially in the kitchen and in the toilet. Sick. But I'm not really the type who goes around splurging on happy house and funky friends stuff. And getting broke over high heels and adidas sneakers and new Nokia phones. I mean that is like so cliche, if you ask me. I only have one friend who does that. But she doesn't have retro tops and tank tops and spaghetti strap tops or whatever. Or branded bleached jeans from I dunno...Levi's? No wait Guess? Argh whtta heck why am even bothering? Sheeshkebab.

I'm more the rock-climbing girl type. I love to rock climb. And cycle. And do crazy stuff like prop myself up harness-less over the ledge and peer down. I live in a flat, see. On the ninth floor. It gives me such a thrill. I also like to go on the flying fox. Yay. And go on twirly-wirly roller-coasters. I like the feeling of getting shaked and losing your stomach and feeling like I'm gonna drop off and land smack dab on the floor. Go-kart racing's fun too. I guess I'm pretty much the adrenaline-starved girl. I feel for everybody who doesn't go to the beach every fornight. Cos I do and I guess you could say i'm lovin it. Not that that's my key phrase. McDonald's the most famous brand in the world. But I have to say I like famous amos better. Heh. But fast food once in a while's nice. And I'm not a veggie junkie either. I hate veggies for the love of god! They make sick. Yuck.

How the freaking hell can those fear factor people eat coagulated cow blood and bull penis and whatever shit? I can't even stand broccoli. Yuck. Maybe it should be changed to gross factor or something.

Okay I've crapped enough for now, I gotta go. Do some fun stuff. And that doesn't have sexual connotations okay? Sheeshkebab.